我老了.

Many people have commented that to me, and truth to speak, I'm more amused than anything else. Perhaps that is another sign of age, being able to take feedback in a calm and collected manner. I don't know.

On my part, I cannot deny that my thinking, my decision making and my reactions to things happening around me have changed. The changes have probably been too much compared to what people expected, but personally for me, too little, too slow.

But why am I so eager to grow old, you may ask. Do I not still have the exuberance of youth? Has the zest for life deserted me? Is the hunger no longer there? Have I finally shed myself of my foolishness? Am I prepared to give up my dreams and "settle"?

I am not.

The thing is, I don't feel older; I feel wiser. In a way, age has got nothing to do with how much time we have spent on this planet; it is all in the mind. I still feel the excitement with new technologies and the gleeful satisfaction when I have written a particular cool piece of code. There are still things that I want to achieve and places that I want to travel to with Jas, who reads this blog regularly (hi dear). :p

On the other hand, I have never felt better. Whether about my own capabilities, or my ability to handle stuff, whatever. I have become more proficient in my professional career; I am now able to deal better with issues, be them professional or personal, and I am able to write better. I have grown, or matured, if I can phrase it that way. And it really pleases me.

Having said all that, I have to admit that I felt the same way 10 years ago. I was just as confident about myself and felt just as good. I was probably much more idealistic and focused on my goals back then, but I would like to think that I probably wasn't as wise back then. And frankly speaking, 10 years into the future, I expect myself to feel the same way, looking back at the me of today with a little bit of embarassment, some fondness and a much more sense of pride.

I guess the important thing is, at any point of time, I am the best that I can be, considering how hard I worked at it prior to that, nothing more, nothing less. Maybe I am not happy with my condition today, so I will work harder, in the hope that I will become better tomorrow. And it goes on. I will never stop making mistakes, but hopefully I will only make new mistakes. To me, that's the key to aging, or everything. That something better is always achievable, as long as I work hard for it.

Whatever it is, no matter how foolish I may sound, this is the approach that I have chosen, and it has never treated unfairly, so I will stick to it. I hope that I will never lose my courage in my convictions and my ability to work hard. As somebody who I admire once said, Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish.

Forgive me for the seemingly ridiculous title, but I promise you, bear with me, and it will make sense after you have finished reading.

People refer to the rebellous puberty years as the character-forming years, when everyone starts growing, both mentally and physically. Most, if not all, of the development during this stage will form the basis of our moral inclinations, personal habits, decision-making process and also our physical appearance for the rest of our lives . It is not uncommon to hear the phrase, "It cannot be helped, so-and-so's character is like that."

But is this "character" really malleable only during our teenage years? Can't we really teach an old dog new tricks? I don't think so. We often read the stories about those that have fallen by the side early in life, turned a new leaf, and made good their potential later. The key, I believe, is perceived need.

Sometimes, something comes along and gives us a whack on the head hard enough to jolt us out of our skins that makes us realise that we have been utterly wrong in our interpretations of the world. Or someday, we may just understand that the reason why we are so frustrated is due to our petulant ignorance of hard facts placed in front of us. Only then will we feel the real need to change the way we think, and the manner we behave.

Personally, I was, or am still, never one to suffer fools. If something is not done right, I had no hesitation to speak my mind. And I would never give up an argument if I am convinced that I was right. I was right, I knew it, and I wanted everybody to know it. For me, there is no better arbiter of any argument than reason and truth. I would like to think that I have changed much now, and for that I have Jas to thank. She was the one who showed me that sometimes, or most of the time, I stand a better chance of getting people to agree with me by telling them that they are partially right, rather than completely wrong.

Which brings us to Raistlin Majere. To those who don't know who he is, he is a character in the first set of fantasy novels that I read. Born weak in constitution, ridiculed as a kid, he showed his strength and power in other ways at the end of the story. I have come across many other repesentative characters, but I will always remember Raistlin Majere as the one who induced my interest in the fantasy genre. The heroes, the magical spells, the mythical weapons of slaying, the dark villians, I love them all. Probably it's because that in a fantasy world, concepts transient in real life, like courage, honour, loyalty and justice are more pronounced, I don't know.

Of course, my reading has not been limited to a single genre. The Jeffrey Archers, the Dan Browns, the Tom Clancys, and most of the popular authors, I have read every one of their books, more than once. Trust me when I say I read quite a few books. But recently, I find my reading tastes changing. Books that I cannot finish in the past, books that I found "dreary" and "boring" in the past, I think they are beautifully written now. Personally, I find it very interesting, as well as gratifying, to be finally able to appreciate these previously-scorned books.

And it has not been limited to my reading preferences. My taste in music, my preferences in colour coordination, my choices in clothing and apparel, I am now able to appreciate better the choices that I really try to avoid in the past. I can now listen to a CD of classical music without ejecting the disc, I am now willing to try more adventurous colours, and I have a pair of bright red sneakers.

Having said all that, it doesn't mean that my preferences, or my way of thinking has changed. Just that I have learnt to appreciate different things, even though I may not like them. I still don't like certain things or agree with the way how certain things are done, but I can now understand why others do.

Maybe that's the most important thing, after all.

I arrived back in Singapore last Friday, but it's only now that I got the time to process the remaining photos.

The training actually ended on last Thursday, when I had to take a multiple choice examination. The results will be out later, so hopefully I managed to pass. Some of the questions were pretty tricky, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Anyway, last Thursday was the finals of the Champions League, and no way was I going to miss that, even though I was not in Singapore. Before I left for Helsinki, I had already made contact with a Finnish Gooner, and he promised to bring me to a pub where there is a live telecast of the game. Incidentally, the instructor responsible for my training was from the UK as well; he wasn't an Arsenal man, but it was an English team in the final, so he was asking around during class as well. I made arrangements, and I was set to watch the game along with a Brit and a few Finns.

I wasn't paying much attention during the last day of training, it ended eventually, but it didn't exactly pass without me noticing it, if you know what I mean. I met my instructor, as well as Finnish Gooner, and we made our way this Sports Academy pub. There was already a decent crowd in the pub when we arrived, and I started the evening with London Pride, after my Finnish friend's advice.

By the time the match started, the place was absolutely packed; but the atmosphere was fantastic. It's a pity, but you can never get this kind of atmosphere in Singapore, not even at the National Stadium. There was constant chanting, strangers coming up to you to shake your hand, and engaging you in small talk about the match and the teams. Marvellous.

Much thanks to Jani, my Finnish friend, for making it possible:

Well, the match didn't exactly end the way I hoped it would, but I really enjoyed my time at the pub. I bade my farewell to my new-found friends, and on my way back to the hotel, I passed by other people queueing up for taxis, or rushing to take the train. My hotel was just about 400m away from the pub, so it was a short trip back for me.

Friday was my last day in Helsinki, and my flight out was at 6 in the evening, so I had pretty much the whole morning free. My colleagues and I walked around the city centre, and they brought me to the local Apple Centre. The prices are slightly more expensive, given that everything are in Euros. I showed Front Row to my colleagues, and they were both impressed. Hopefully, I had done enough to convince them to make the switch.

It wasn't long before we had to check out, and make our way to the airport. The flight was long, but I had empty seats next to me, and I had some decent sleep again.

I would say that Helsinki is a very good place for hiking, fishing, and ideal for nature lovers. The city centre, although small, offers a different perspective on European cities, and it has been an interesting trip.

Photos are at the usual place.

I am currently in Helsinki for company training, and it's still early here, so I thought I'd upload some photos.

It was a 12 hour flight to Frankfurt for transit, and I arrived there at about 5 in the early morning. I met up with a colleague of mine, and he brought me to the Lufthansa lounge for some snacks and drinks.

The stupid thing is that I have to go through the passport and luggage check everytime I move from 1 section of the terminals to another. I was about to meet my colleague in 1 terminal, when my flight was diverted to another gate in another terminal, and I had to queue up again to go through it. For an airport hub that is the interchange for so many interconnecting flights in Europe, you'd have thought they'd be more efficient than this.

The good thing was that I had a very good sleep on the flight to Frankfurt. I was sitting in 1 of 2 aisle seats for my row of 4 seats, and besides another old lady on the other aisle seat, there were 2 empty seats between us. So we just took turns to sleep on the empty seats, and although it was a little cramped, we could afford to sleep horizontally.

Helsinki is a pretty small city, although the taxi fares are pretty steep. The meter starts at 6.60 Euros, and a 20 minutes drive to the hotel costs 27 Euros. I'm not the one who's paying, so...

My colleague and I went out for a walk around the city centre, and the weather was bewildering. It was drizzling one minute, and then bright sunshine another, although the temperature was in the cool 10s throughout. Nice weather, although it got a little chilly when the sea breeze came in.

Although it got dark pretty late, most of the shops were closed, so we went back to our hotel after an early dinner. So there goes my first day in Helsinki. Take a look at the photos, I'll update as soon and often as I can.

Christine, Meng's daughter, had a birthday party on Labour Day.

There were lots of other kids invited as well, and to entertain them, there were professional party organizers from McDonalds who conducted game sessions with the kids. The food was pretty good, and football was shown on the huge projector screen for the guys, so there was something for everyone.

Belated Happy Birthday Christine! Photos are here.